Superstition

Posted on by Harlon

superstitions1

A sign is only as telling as the experience I have if I follow the sign. The sign says STOP which suggests to me that I should then GO.

If I keep my eyes on the road and put the pedal to the medal then I will get there.  And there is where I want to be because they have things there that I don’t get to have and they are doing things that I don’t get to do. When I get there, I’ll know it, because I will be happy.

The map in the mall says YOU ARE HERE but I don’t think that I am there.  Misguided, disoriented, I look for the next sign because I don’t know where I am at and I don’t  know what I want.

If I am here, what does the sign say when I get closer to there? Do not enter? Slippery when wet? Deliveries to the rear?

Wait a second, those aren’t signs, they are graffiti and I’ve lost my train of thought and I am laughing to myself, by myself, with myself, at myself and the sign says rest stop next exit. I can see it in the rear view mirror.

Am I getting warmer, or am I getting colder?  What are you thinking?

Is it hot in here, or is it just me and I laugh again. I laugh out loud. It feels good.

I am living in experiences that are different than my circumstances. I am living in my thoughts and not in my feelings.

Where am I going with this? Late at night I am on the road to nowhere. Driving alone, shirt sleeves rolled up, forearm resting on the rolled down window, wind in my hair, singing to myself, I am looking for something, I am going somewhere. The no tell motel has a no vacancy sign up.

I am looking for myself and I am commuting back and forth each day.

Is that life? The transit between the two, the experiences along the way.

The moment, that moment, is it a series of moments along the way or is it just a moment, a pinprick, a destination,

Where is the next offramp? I think I need to pull over, something is flashing in my mind, like memories and superstitions.

Officer, I was under the false assumption that I was feeling something other than thinking it.

He says I was going over the speed limit.

How could I when I am not going anywhere? The sign said I AM HERE.

Wherever I think I am going, could it be that I already there and that is a place that I am not familiar with.

A sign is only as good as the experience I have when I stop at that sign.

 

10 thoughts on “Superstition”

  1. Glad you chose “publish!” I really like this piece. It captures the chaos that is inside in an unfettered way – letting it all hang out! I’m so grateful you followed my blog and gave me the chance to read your work. Looking forward to reading much more!
    ~Audrey

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    • Thanks Audrey, I appreciate your insight, letting it all hang out sometimes seems risky, yet it does feel very therapeutic afterwards. Thank you for following my blog and I look forward to reading more and learning from you, Peace, Harlon

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  3. Awesome, Harlon. So many of your sentences here made me pull over to the side of the road– to take a break and stare off into the distance. I like what you say about signs, too. I found when I was most confused, that signs were something I had to kind of write off. You can get into looking for them too much. I thought eventually, am I waiting for some bush to start glowing in a golden light? Or can I accept that the presence within me at least has some sort of built-in clue. Looking too hard for signs can make everything an ambiguity, can turn meaning into confusion. And when we’re confused, we can’t even pick the type of sweetener to put in our coffee. It’s just all too difficult.

    And then it’s ironic, but once we begin to trust in our experience, everything becomes a sign dripping with obvious meaning… We realize signs weren’t limited to special or particular things. We are living in a sign. Life saying so much with every instant of existence… 🙂

    Michael

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  4. Great read, I feel like I understand the chaos in your head…
    and in response to your title and the black cat quote:
    ” I am not superstitious, but I’m a little ‘stitious” Michael Scott – The Office

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    • When I wrote this, I was in a ridiculous amount of pain and thought maybe I was tripping out on painkillers, then realized I am not taking any. Writing is my painkiller. Happy Friday the 13th! I dare you to walk under a ladder 🙂 Peace, Harlon

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  6. Ah! Harlon…don’t ever press “trash!!” No no…if the words come out then I guarantee that someone was meant to read them!! I think this is brilliant. ..and familiar. You wrapped up the superstition of this day into a dreamy question with the gift of an answer in the end!! I will be driving in a bit for about three hours…you can bet that your words will swarm around in my mind! Have a beautiful weekend! ❤

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