I knew what I was leaving
I didn’t know if I should
but I knew, I knew for me
28 days away would be good.
I was in the sunshine
I was basking it all in
but something told me
things would not change when I came back again.
Things turned difficult
I had hoped at the very best things would be the same
I think there is a word and they call it a “shitstorm”
and soon her diseases will all have a name.
Then there is all the bullshit
of being on disability
I am expected to provide documentation
It’s just not my priority.
Can I do this?
Can anyone can?
My family is strong and powerful
we are united and we are strong.
There seem to be so many cracks
for all of us to fall through
it’s only me,
and I don’t have a you.
I know things will not get better
we must prepare for difficult discourse
when you have family
you can deal with the worse.
But when you are alone and remembering
the nights get dark and lose their scope
there is living and dying
I just don’t know if I can cope.
A Patient Voice 
It’s always hard coming back to face the work of care giving and re-learning how to take care of yourself in the midst of it all. You write: “My family is strong and powerful. We are united and we are strong.” (?) There must be something to that. Sending love and hugs to you, Harlon.
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I have learned not to always look at the big picture,take it slow and make it small
For me too much at once is overload
I need diversion, obsessing,ruminating=
Mirganes,lots of pain,like every day,day in and day out,you did right by getting away,life is too short to constantly be under yours or someone else’s thumb
As Sheldon Usually
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Might be more prudent not to keep seeing the glass as half-empty. My wife can’t even eat and takes her nutrition through a stomach tube every day (for the rest of her life) but she has a smile on her face.
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I’m here
Hugs Harlon
Xoxo
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Thanks Robert, you are the best, I will reach out to you soon, I think I need some of the therapy of your company xoxo Harlon
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Try and enjoy your break. It is tough but you can do it Harlon!
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I feel like that train in the kids books, that says “I think I can, I think I can” Truth is, I actually think I can, it’s the lousy part of life but being here makes it meaningful and powerful for both of us. Thanks!
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I understand the difficulty for a carer in taking a break – its very hard on the conscience and sense of duty
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This is your land (in), some hope will help you seeing the beautiful sky… 🙂
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I’m so sorry. I wishing easy days for you. 😦
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Thank you, I think the best thing to do is to relax, to take care of myself, and then take better and stronger care for my Mother. Thank you. And yes, our music will play on.
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You don’t have to worry about that. Yes you must take care of yourself.
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