Lately, I’ve found myself saying “I should do…”
I think there’s a trap in this, it sets off an alarm in my mind.
If I should be doing something, then I can just do it.
Ultimately, I can do anything.
Or do I sometimes
feel because of peer or societal pressure that this is
what I should be doing
because that is what other people are doing
because I don’t feel successful.
I am pretty sure this is a trap,
and that I am setting myself up for disappointment and failure.
There is no “should be”,
there is instead “I will be” or “I am doing what I want”.
Or I should just be doing nothing.
A friend of mine the other day said something brilliant:
“expectations are the death of happiness.”
That lingered on my mind, as it may on yours
and that lead me to something equally profound.
The four noble truths of Buddhist teaching.
The first noble truth
The first noble truth is called Dukkha, which means suffering. It says that life is full of suffering. To say it a different way, in life, there is sickness, poverty (being poor), old age, and death. People can not keep what they want. People can not avoid what they do not want. If that is all a person learns, they suffer.
The second noble truth
The second noble truth is Samudaya, which says that there is a reason for the suffering in the world. It says that the reason there is suffering is that people want things. It also says that the reason there is suffering is that people change what they think is real. They do this because they are ignorant. People do wrong actions because they want things and because they do not see what is real. Those evil actions lead to suffering.
The third noble truth
The third noble truth is Nirodha. It says that people can be free from suffering when they no longer want things.
The Fourth Noble Truth
The fourth noble truth is called Magga. It says that for a person to stop wanting things, they must follow a set of rules. The rules are called the Noble Eightfold Path.
Perhaps in this world, we have lots touch of these concepts, but I think that if I let go of things and I, then I can take one step towards harmony.
Ultimately, from one perspective to another, is it to myself that I must be true.
” I think I am just learning to be me, and to be good with that.”
That was so good to read, Harlon.
Sending Love… 🙂
xoxoxo
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Checking in on you and seeing that many others are as well.
Thinking of you & hoping you’re well.
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Harlon where are you! Email me when can and let’s talk. Hugs. M
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Guess what? It’s time for gifts! I’ve nominated you for The Sunshine Blogger Award, here: https://danicapiche.com/2018/07/05/the-sunshine-blogger-award-thank-you/
There’s no obligation at all so if you’re unable to participate please accept this gesture of appreciation and hope that a new reader or two discover your blog. 🙂
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Buddha got enlightenment and happiness sprouted .
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Harlon! Where is my friend?!?! You are missed.
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Hey you liked!
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I will be back soon to explain my disappearance but thanks for noticing and for caring. xoxo Harlon
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You don’t have to explain, just glad to hear from you. Xoxo
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Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here and commented:
Thank you Harlon, gives something to think about. M
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this is a great post. Especially because these relate to me too much these days. thanks a lot !
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And, maybe : “I Would prefer not to”… (Bartleby, Melville) ? 🙂
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My friend shared that she received a “When will my suffering end” pamphlet and I gave her a list of the 4 Noble truths, then I read your post right now 😃 What a coincidence.
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There’s a whole load a great food for thought! Not being part of the things Society, is really a tough chore!
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I literally tripped out when I realized you were in the blog group 😲🤞💜💙💚
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I find the First Truth quite negative. If there is immeasurable suffering, there is also immense happiness in this life.
But yes any act (karma) without expectations (akarmanya) = not getting attached (involved?) leads to less upheaval of emotions.
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I can see why you find Noble Truth #1, bit I don’t think it’s meant to be negative but to remind is that part of life is suffering. Not suffering all the time but suffering because of our health or other hings like job or relationships.
Perhaps suffering is too strong a work, but I believes it reminds us that thing are not always going to be that way we want them to be as it is for everything, so I see it as a reminder to put things in perspective, to practice self-love and compassion and then the suffering is lessened. Just my take on it? Harlon
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For me, it is all about going beyond “shoulds” and going beyond “rules,” which doesn’t mean that one recklessly does whatever one wants. Following a set of so-called noble rules or “truths” is just another should. Whoever said to follow a set of rules was never really enlightened. Inner, natural discipline is a light to itself… and it certainly doesn’t depend on any rules.
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I really like the way you put that. My mind continues to expand.
Thanks friend, Harlon
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‘Ultimately, from one perspective to another, is it to myself that I must be true.’ That’s it
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My brother don’t Should on yourself. Be gentle with you and don’t compare yourself to other people. They have there path and you have yours.
Just continue to pray and ask God how to proceed. Without peace of mind in a situation we judge ourselves. As I’m getting older I’m allowing myself to just Be.
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This is a wonderful post and had given me much to think on for the rest of the day. I agree – be true to oneself. Always.
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Expectations make me sad. But this is a great post! 😘 xoxo 🙂
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I think you’re on to something with shoulds being a trap. As long as someone is basically a good person, which you certainly are, it’s okay to do what we want. I’ve done the shoulds for many years. Now, I’m leaning toward doing more of what I want. I could incorporate a bit of the Buddhist truths by not wanting anything too much. Interesting ideas!
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I agree Joanne, there are some interesting ideas. Some of the noble truths seem a bit intense to me, but I find by personalizing and contextualizing them, they made sense. Suffering is a part of our lives, and I think that calls for self-compassion and for compassion for others. And by measuring our happiness by material possessions, I think we miss out on a lot of what is truly rich in our life. It’s hard work, and again this post started of with the “I should” and “expectations”. I think I am just learning to be me, and to be good with that. 🙂 Hugs, Harlon
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Hugs to you, Harlon. 🙂
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