Now What?


I grew up gay

– without any role models

– without any heroes

– with a message that I would live a lonely life

– attacked and beaten during walks at night more than once

– with a foregone conclusion:

my life would end by my own hands or by the violent hands of others,

but I survived.

I lived with HIV

– without any hope

– without a future

– with a message that I would die an ugly death

– images of protesters with placards that AIDS is a punishment from GOD

– without a longterm plan:

my life would end soon so why plan for the future,

but I survived.

Now what?

proto credit Harlon Davey









9 thoughts on “Now What?

    • Thanks LauraBelle, for me it’s comforting that there are others who, for different reasons, are asking themselves the same question. I wonder what the root of this is? Is it the NEW mid-life crisis? Or is it the NEW existentialism and what is the meaning of life? For the next while I am trying (key word – trying) to observe when I feel this way and when I don’t. Maybe in that process I might start developing an answer to that question. My first observation is when I feel isolated or a prolonged sense of loneliness then the NOW WHAT question percolates. I’ll keep you posted on this journey, and I wish you wellness and enlightenment on yours – and look forward to future moments of intersecting with you. Peace, Harlon.

      Liked by 1 person

    • It is more than OK, it is fabulous, and I liked your observation on the commonality that you and I and others are experience. Thanks for the compliment and thanks for your sincerity and consideration. Peace!

      Liked by 1 person

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    Liked by 2 people

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