A sign is only as telling as the experience I have if I follow the sign. The sign says STOP which suggests to me that I should then GO.
If I keep my eyes on the road and put the pedal to the medal then I will get there. And there is where I want to be because they have things there that I don’t get to have and they are doing things that I don’t get to do. When I get there, I’ll know it, because I will be happy.
The map in the mall says YOU ARE HERE but I don’t think that I am there. Misguided, disoriented, I look for the next sign because I don’t know where I am at and I don’t know what I want.
If I am here, what does the sign say when I get closer to there? Do not enter? Slippery when wet? Deliveries to the rear?
Wait a second, those aren’t signs, they are graffiti and I’ve lost my train of thought and I am laughing to myself, by myself, with myself, at myself and the sign says rest stop next exit. I can see it in the rear view mirror.
Am I getting warmer, or am I getting colder? What are you thinking?
Is it hot in here, or is it just me and I laugh again. I laugh out loud. It feels good.
I am living in experiences that are different than my circumstances. I am living in my thoughts and not in my feelings.
Where am I going with this? Late at night I am on the road to nowhere. Driving alone, shirt sleeves rolled up, forearm resting on the rolled down window, wind in my hair, singing to myself, I am looking for something, I am going somewhere. The no tell motel has a no vacancy sign up.
I am looking for myself and I am commuting back and forth each day.
Is that life? The transit between the two, the experiences along the way.
The moment, that moment, is it a series of moments along the way or is it just a moment, a pinprick, a destination,
Where is the next offramp? I think I need to pull over, something is flashing in my mind, like memories and superstitions.
Officer, I was under the false assumption that I was feeling something other than thinking it.
He says I was going over the speed limit.
How could I when I am not going anywhere? The sign said I AM HERE.
Wherever I think I am going, could it be that I already there and that is a place that I am not familiar with.
A sign is only as good as the experience I have when I stop at that sign.