Sweet Dream?

Posted on by Harlon

I am sorry if I have seemed distant

or unaware.

I am sorry I don’t return your calls,

it’s not because I don’t care.

I am lethargic

because I can’t get to sleep.

If I start to drift off

I never drift that deep.

I wish I could get out of the grey

and fall into the black.

Somewhere I became afraid

I would never come back.

I find it hard to focus

and express myself

so I tend

to just keep things to myself.

I take pills, 3 of those and 2 of them

but they don’t seem to work anymore.

I think it’s because I feel anxiety

that I have never felt before.

What I wouldn’t give for a normal sleep?

An old-fashioned good night’s rest.

I don’t feel strong, I could feel better

and I don’t know if I will ever be at my best.

31 thoughts on “Sweet Dream?”

  3. This is gr8 to read whilst Paul de Senneville’s “Marriage d’amour” is playing in the background.

    Seems to aptly complement each other’s melancholic tone and longing, personally.

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  4. When I was in my 40s my sleep started to become less restful. It’s been a long time since I had a “normal” night’s sleep through the nigh. I decided i would practice my meditation (mindfulness, breathing, muscle relaxation) without judgment. That way, even if I didn’t fall to sleep (or back to sleep) at least, I was practicing a skill and resting my mind and body more. About half the time, I’d go to sleep. i think it was the acceptance. Sweet dreams!

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  5. Sorry to hear you spread thin like this Harlon. I’m seeing your thinness sifted through human connection, refolding into wholeness. You’ve got a lot on your plate and I hope you are able to go easy on yourself, my friend.

    Peace
    Michael

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    • Thanks Michael, and going easy on myself is something that is going to be important to me. A night out with a friend, a weekend getaway, I think taking a break, big or small, is something that I need to do to put some weight on my spreading myself thin-ness. Peace, Harlon

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      • Since I can’t sleep either I got the solution to your problem (great poem by the way)wich is….. you gotta hang out with my crazy self. See the fighting of the bulls, eat paella, and the Spanish girls…. not eat them but just watch them. Like a piece of art, look at it but you can’t touch… in some cases.

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    • Thanks. I do meditate and it has been very helpful with anxiety, I am experiencing a new anxiety in my life, so I am exploring how to adapt my practice. It certainly can halt the feeling of being overwhelmed. It doesn’t help me fall asleep, but it certainly helps keep the conscious moments in their perspective. Thank you, Harlon

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