Sweet Dream?

I am sorry if I have seemed distant

or unaware.

I am sorry I don’t return your calls,

it’s not because I don’t care.

I am lethargic

because I can’t get to sleep.

If I start to drift off

I never drift that deep.

I wish I could get out of the grey

and fall into the black.

Somewhere I became afraid

I would never come back.

I find it hard to focus

and express myself

so I tend

to just keep things to myself.

I take pills, 3 of those and 2 of them

but they don’t seem to work anymore.

I think it’s because I feel anxiety

that I have never felt before.

What I wouldn’t give for a normal sleep?

An old-fashioned good night’s rest.

I don’t feel strong, I could feel better

and I don’t know if I will ever be at my best.

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31 thoughts on “Sweet Dream?

    1. It’s hard to say which is easier, I think it’s a matter of feeling intense emotions – and it’s the intensity that inspired me. Often, when I am feeling joy, writing doesn’t always spring to mind, I want to enjoy the moment and share it. If I am struggling, I often isolate myself and writing then becomes a very useful tool in helping me work through it. What about you?

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I know when I am sad, I tend to isolate myself when I probably should reach out, but I don’t think there is a right answer for anything. Do you feel more inspired to write when you are sad or when you are joyful?

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          1. When I am isolated I am more likely to write something in lack of better options and to releive my stress. When I am joyful I am happy to be able to enjoy my surroundings for a time, so I grasp these happy moments to interact.

            Liked by 1 person

  1. This is gr8 to read whilst Paul de Senneville’s “Marriage d’amour” is playing in the background.

    Seems to aptly complement each other’s melancholic tone and longing, personally.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I was in my 40s my sleep started to become less restful. It’s been a long time since I had a “normal” night’s sleep through the nigh. I decided i would practice my meditation (mindfulness, breathing, muscle relaxation) without judgment. That way, even if I didn’t fall to sleep (or back to sleep) at least, I was practicing a skill and resting my mind and body more. About half the time, I’d go to sleep. i think it was the acceptance. Sweet dreams!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Sorry to hear you spread thin like this Harlon. I’m seeing your thinness sifted through human connection, refolding into wholeness. You’ve got a lot on your plate and I hope you are able to go easy on yourself, my friend.

    Peace
    Michael

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Michael, and going easy on myself is something that is going to be important to me. A night out with a friend, a weekend getaway, I think taking a break, big or small, is something that I need to do to put some weight on my spreading myself thin-ness. Peace, Harlon

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Since I can’t sleep either I got the solution to your problem (great poem by the way)wich is….. you gotta hang out with my crazy self. See the fighting of the bulls, eat paella, and the Spanish girls…. not eat them but just watch them. Like a piece of art, look at it but you can’t touch… in some cases.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, the reminder that I am not along lightens the burden, yet, I wish you didn’t have things keeping you up at night. Sending you some peace of mind and a whole bunch of “zzzzzzzzz” cards. They are Canadian, but I hope they are universal. xo Harlon

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. I do meditate and it has been very helpful with anxiety, I am experiencing a new anxiety in my life, so I am exploring how to adapt my practice. It certainly can halt the feeling of being overwhelmed. It doesn’t help me fall asleep, but it certainly helps keep the conscious moments in their perspective. Thank you, Harlon

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Maybe deep breathing might help. I usually do this when I go to bed and I have lots on my mind. I inhale deeply in. I say in with love out with the negativity. After a few times of this I find it really helps me. You have to do it a few times to see the change

        Liked by 1 person

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