I have thought it all through

my self-guided tour

what is behind me is behind me

and I will always try to carry the best forward.

As I move forward,

I know I am safe here

where I am now,

there is nothing wrong with resting

before I move on.

The next while will be tough

that much I know,

I don’t know how long it will last

or how exactly it will go or how rough.

It is the uncertainty

that is getting the better of me.

It is the uncertainty

that is the source of all of this anxiety.

I find it hard to settle

with what will be will be

when I don’t feel like I know

what or when will be.

Another chapter will start

but I am reading the pages of this one

rather furiously.

I am afraid of what the next page might say,

unexpectedly.