Sometimes I just sit on the side of the bed and think of what should be done next but nothing happens except times flies by.

I really want to e-mail Mark because it feels like we talk.

Then I owe an e-mail to Paul about why I am considering vocal lessons and deciding whether it’s something I can commit to.

The there’s the other Paul who I should be apologizing to for sending a message on Facebook when I was loopy on Tylenol 3s so he doesn’t think I’m some kind of junky.

What’s happened to my motivation, why am I ruled by lethargy, I am not sure if blaming it all on winter is a good enough excuse for me.

I want to call Lynnette and congratulate her on her marriage and I am long overdue for a phone call with Lisa because she’s been so loyal that we could truly become long-distance friends.

I  missed a phone call from Roula, and I never got back to her, and she’s someone I love so much in my life but I know I may lose her.

I think that my friends are giving up on me, now I wonder if I am just giving up on them, and maybe I am giving up on life in general.

I  like hiding, but my vision still needs testing, along with and EKG.

There’s Janice and there’s River, there’s Cathy to whom my promises I never deliver.

Sometimes when I do nothing that is my version of doing something.

I struggle because what I am doing is just being me, but in the winter, that means I close down and I know the best thing for my mind is to start engaging in activity.