what is next?

It is difficult to describe this feeling

but it is familiar,

it feels similar to something I have felt before.

I have been hiding in my mind for a long time,

it’s time for me to step out now and experience living again.

The last couple of years were extremely challenging for me

and like other hardships of the past

I get through it.

This feeling feels a bit like fear and trepidation.

Butterflies in my stomach.

Change, the unknown, things that can play with your mind

if you let them.

And I will let them, but I will not let them control me.

An after thought,

things won’t change until I start changing things.

I can’t go on living the way I have been living,

hiding, exploring, healing the certainties and the unknowns

that are all in my mind.

This feeling is like standing in a quiet moment

and watching a stream run by

and feeling that I can give in, and let go of something

and then simply, join the stream and go with the flow.

I am at a place now where I can integrate my experiences

into the person that steps outside and says,

“I am here”.