My Ends Don’t Meet

I hear about the new normal

like it’s something I should be

I never got the first one right

so I am not sure how this should go any differently.

OK.

I wish I could function normally

but it seems to be something

beyond my reach

I go to sleep under the blanket of the night

in poor quality

but I can’t even seem to get that part right

I take pills

it’s a cost I pay

but then I wake up in the middle of the night

stepping out of a nightmare

I am anxious, afraid

I know we don’t understand sleep that well anyway

so it’s not like there is a solution delivered to my driveway

I can’t get back to sleep

I don’t want to take more pills

and if I fall back to sleep

If I do

and then I end up sleeping the day away

I miss meetings and conversations

I had scheduled that day

I feel like I am unsleeping my life away

trying to function on a nickel and a dime

knowing what I am gambling with is time

I wish I could function normally

more for you, than for me

I guess that’s why my friends have given up on me

but I am functioning

as normal as I can be

that’s who I am

that’s all I can be.