I am sorry if I have seemed distant

or unaware.

I am sorry I don’t return your calls,

it’s not because I don’t care.

I am lethargic

because I can’t get to sleep.

If I start to drift off

I never drift that deep.

I wish I could get out of the grey

and fall into the black.

Somewhere I became afraid

I would never come back.

I find it hard to focus

and express myself

so I tend

to just keep things to myself.

I take pills, 3 of those and 2 of them

but they don’t seem to work anymore.

I think it’s because I feel anxiety

that I have never felt before.

What I wouldn’t give for a normal sleep?

An old-fashioned good night’s rest.

I don’t feel strong, I could feel better

and I don’t know if I will ever be at my best.