I am going through my collection of journals from the last couple of years, great ideas for change, strategies for a better world, my hard truths, things to be proud of, ideas for a career, for relationships, for good health, for relaxation, a road map to joy and peace of mind. Tricks to stay the course on a ship built of courage and hope.

The scribblings of a man who wants to catch his breath because he has been running, afraid to let his mind idle, afraid of the truth because the truth kills, and self-awareness, self-growth will set me free.

I am settling as I surrender, no more tracking my direction, I settle like an unassuming pond, out of the wind, cool, static and dark, no pain, not manic, not stark. Somewhere on the etch-a-sketch map of who I am, where I belong, where I am, there is a sign that assured me that I am here.   

I found myself a place

amongst loneliness

and rejection.

I decorated it 

in shade of fear

and doubt.

I thought I was driven there

but I walked there

myself.