Late into the night my feeling defeated turned tide and I felt a lot of good things.   Patience is a virtue. I know that.  I don’t feel patient and what patience I have feels tested.  If I talk about it, that is one way to become strong, leading to balance.  Or at least to be in that ballpark.

I am thinking that I have the strength and the courage to change how and where I ground myself and establish safe boundaries. I think I want to start growing again, it’s the way I am. Patience is a virtue. I have felt overwhelmed but that’s a thought. Everything around me is hidden behind the thoughts that will take me to where  I want to go and who I want to be.  I am starting again, but it sounds like I am restarting everything all over again and I will be somewhere better, or do I think I will go back to the same place I am now.

Wait.

See.

There has been melancholy inventory.

All of this or that will happen, no plans or deadlines. Not now.

Don’t make a big deal of everything, it’s just a lot of thoughts.

Think before I grow?

Ask before I take?

Laugh before I leap.

When change stops happening in so many ways, I wonder where I will end up.   Will I feel that I know who I am? Will I find myself?

If that is what I learn, then the  moment of learning starts with me loving myself again.

How will I feel?