For some reason, I have been taking things too seriously lately. I haven’t attached myself to simple pleasures. I have been cautious of tried and true. Thinking about this and wondering about that. Essentially, being impatient, ultimately, negligent of being in the moment. Not being as good to myself as I can be.
Unsure of who am I presenting to myself. Hesitant of what do I present to others.
The other evening I sat in the backyard taking stock of the night sky. Observing that Orion which was, when I landed home in early July, to my south, and now as I start to settle and start to create structure in early autumn, and now as I think that another summer has gone, and now that I am no longer in the moment, and now, Orion stands to the north. Sightseeing but not saying goodbye.
The cycle will repeat itself. Allow that to happen, rather than respinning in my mind.
Knee jerk reaction.
Then the delicious biochemistry involved in fight or flight crackles the night sky. Skunk at 10 o’clock, heading straight towards me, ETA 3 seconds.
I don’t want my mid-life crisis to peak in a bathtub of tomato juice.
Unless the wet sauna is 1 part vodka and the dry sauna has celery salt.
My lust for life needs therapy.
I ran inside, had a cocktail, listened to Beyoncé and, watched Parks and Recreation Season 4 on DVD. I am fine, scent-free and centred, smiling quietly.
Holding my horses, give it time, everything will be fine.
I’m less confident of that than I have been in a long time, but I am going with it. I might have lost some hope. My exercise it to create more.
Fit, mind and body.