What To Expect When You’re Self-Expecting

SelfExpectations Artwork credit: http://kickofjoy.com

Self Confident: self-confidence is the reputation I have with myself.  According to myself, I do well in new activities and I overcome unknown adversities in existing activities. By exercising the self-confident muscle I expect to be better at counteracting anxiety and the need to medicate in order to achieve tranquility.  In today’s word where corporate greed leads to leanness and social programs that provide support and foster dignity are being cut, self-confidence can help me; even though I don’t have a job description for my life, I can establish my own organizational change so that my job title is  “I can do that”.  A good way for me to reinforce my self-confidence is to ask myself “what strengths and abilities” do I do well and that I can rely?  To strengthen the muscles of self-confidence, I can pick a goal that I am likely to achieve yet is moderately challenging and turn to others for feedback so I can monitor my progress and adjust accordingly.  As is with the case with any routine, breathing is important.

Self-Esteem: self-esteem is the emotional opinion I have of myself.  According to myself, I am able to measure it by how much I learn after something goes wrong.  It also acts as a blanket that protects me from hurtful criticism and harmful people. When I feel that my self-esteem is strong and vibrant, I am able to dismiss insensitive comments and remain healthy, stable and reliable.  A good way for me to expand my awareness of the importance of self-esteem is to talk with someone about differences we’ve seen between people with low self-esteem and strong self-esteem. It doesn’t put me in a place where I compare my self-esteem to others because that essentially would make me an asshole but it allows for the interesting observation of how self-esteem does manifest itself in others and how others respond to it and the mindful awareness between self-esteem and ego.

Self-Concept: self-concept is what value do I place on myself.  According to myself, this one is a challenge for me. If I base my value on my job title or income then I crumble. I do better when I think of self-concept as what ideas do I have about “me”. I can improve my self-concept by thinking about the useful lessons I have learned after not succeeding or how I have continued onwards after devastating news and hurtful experiences and have succeeded and in fact, have always succeeded. I base my self-concept on how I survive and how I move forward in life based on the learning from these experiences.

Conclusion: Resiliency comes from the discovered Harlon, not the Harlon that is constructed.

7 thoughts on “What To Expect When You’re Self-Expecting

  1. Great post!
    “It (self-esteem) doesn’t put me in a place where I compare my self-esteem to others because that essentially would make me an asshole…” great observation! I love this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved that last statement you made “Resiliency comes from the discovered Harlon, not the Harlon that is constructed”.
    As we experience things, we learn a lot about life and it is a fact that discovering yourself is the key to achieve resilience.:)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Harlon, one of my favourite quotes is by Alvin Toffler… It’s this: “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read or write. It will be those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.” This is the journey of self-discoverING, the constant evolving that as you so wisely say, is about deconstructing and rebuilding! And remember as I do that ‘expectations’ are seeds that we plant in the loam of resentment; the loam where they they sprout too *&^% fast! For me, the healthy place to hang out is ‘anticipation’, where I am free to embrace what meets and greets me with curiosity that so often leads to joy and delight! Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I loved this post, Harlon. The tone kind of reminded me of Bucky Fuller– an intelligent and insightful taking stock. We would all do well, I think, to move towards the discovered self in lieu of the constructed one, as the latter is inherently unstable. Though constructed in an effort to provide stability, it tends to run for the hills when difficulty arrives, and that is when the discovered self emerges. Your writing here is playful, but heartfelt– matter-of-fact but inspired– a combo I love to encounter. I loved this right from the opening line about your reputation you have with yourself… And resiliency is such a powerful concept. It suits you, my friend!


    Liked by 1 person

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