Every now & then.

everynowandthen

I’ve got that song Blinded By The Light in my mind. I am at the beach and I am uncertain about how I am feeling. I just can’t put my finger on it.

Thank heaven for the  monarchs and the solidago canadensis reminding me that summer days at the beach in mid-September are very precious.

I might have forgotten to tell you that it’s a clothing optional beach and people certainly do come in all shapes and sizes, it’s all good, if it’s OK to be me then it’s OK to be you, except maybe for the guy who keeps playing Ariane Grande.

The season will change soon and so will the songs on all hit radio. I’m changing like the early leaves, mutant and eager. I’m following my gut, you know, trusting your extinct.

It is simply a gorgeous day, wildflowers, milkweed and I watch the monarchs fly by leaving land about to cross Lake Ontario. This is just another part of their amazing journey and it boggles my mind.

I suppose it only makes sense that lately I’ve been feeling discombobulated.

It boggles my mind that here I am again in my usual place but it’s the start of just another leg of the amazing journey. This time it feels accelerated or perhaps less bumps in the road, not bad considering I would say that I am far below my personal best.

As I walked from the ferry, around the island, towards the beach, I took a deep breathe in to smell the flowers and all that was living and it was a beautiful scent. Until that moment, I smelled nothing.

I listened to the traffic roar, but there was no roar, just a thousand different sounds, all distinguishable. Nature is made up of lots of instruments that create a magnificent symphony if I choose to receive it through the airwaves. Downloading now.

I am in my usual place on the island swimming in the sparkles, cell phone on mute, the sweet scent has been here all day but why is it only now that I am smelling it? The dull roar doesn’t exist, there is life all around me, the sound and the silent, but for some reason I’m not fully reconnecting. Why am I not smelling life or hearing it as it fully is.

I am hanging out in my usual space but for some reason  I feel awkward. I feel like a stranger. Part of me is wondering as I reconnect is part of me disconnecting?

It’s heaven in this place and in mid-September and to be on this island right now, this is not the moment to try to change things. Everything including me is moving towards the equinox and we all know it.

Change is a process and I can’t change that but I can relax, smell the air and hear the silence.

That’s my day at the beach thanks for asking.

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14 thoughts on “Every now & then.

  1. I grew up near the sea and live inland now. When I feel the same as you, it’s a relief to be near the sea but I think anywhere that is away from the usual hustle and noise of every day living is a good place to be to find peace, so you can look inside yourself properly, turning away from all that is causing the tumult. I understand this write so well, sometimes you can be in a wonderful place and still not feel right. That’s when you have to turn off your thoughts and just commune with yourself, or nature, or God, if you believe in him.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I read your wonderings about not connecting as fully as you want to, it reminds me of me when I’m thinking too much about what I’m thinking. I’m really good at that sometimes. It sounds like you’ve got moments of deep connection in between your thoughts, thanks to the monarchs and the flowers. I’m excited by the photo that looks like you are coming to the top of the hill.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks JoAnna, that’s a good way of putting it, it does feel like I am coming to the top of some hill, and it will be nice to rest and enjoy the view – and not think so much about what I’m thinking – I think 🙂 Harlon

      Liked by 1 person

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