Offramp

I wonder what you think of me?

The choices, I made,

my behaviour could have been done differently.

You see I didn’t have the same list

of choices to choose from

so I descended differently

from a darkness from which we all come.

And here I am

less than what you accepted

but I am here

and that was never expected.

I wonder what you think of me?

Do you know I cry, and get melancholy

thinking of how I could have done things differently,

holding on to my past

while the future moves indifferently.

I wonder what you think of me?

The stupid man with the stupid story

the man who doubted himself

and came up shortly.

I wonder what you think of me?

If it’s any consequence

I think of you

and how I could have been a better me.

In this moment

that is now

I know I did my best

although it never feels that way somehow.

In this moment, I wonder what you think?

Scattered, confused, behaving narcissitically,

but in this moment that is now

neither of us were taught how to be our me.

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20 thoughts on “Offramp

  1. There are so many things I could have done differently. Even two days ago! But they’ve all brought me to who I am now, and I’m learning… learning not to beat myself up, though sometimes I forget. Your last line is perfect.

    Liked by 2 people

        1. I fell in love with “Last Train Home” in the 90’s and tuned into him after that. Pat is brilliant in a way that is almost other-worldly. There’s something spiritual, haunting, magical — in a lot of his music that defies standard theoretical analysis. I can analyze it according to my knowledge of music theory and composition; however, my analysis will never account for some of the feelings his music is mysteriously able to evoke. A truly inspired Artist.

          Liked by 1 person

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