Every part of this

every line of your skin

those sounds that come in

and come out

all of this is familiar

it is something that I have lived through

many times

in my mind

and in my body

is there a point when feelings like this

start  to discontinue

or are they part of the perpetuity of the mind?

I have never really ever lived this moment

but I am having thoughts that I am believing

items I am recognizing

time passing

like it always does, passing by me

always searching

feels like searching

the feeling finds me

that’s how it feels when I am doing nothing.

It feels like I am always going it alone.

All of this

am I bored

am I distracted

wondering what I should be doing

this is all too familiar

when nothing starts  to seem similar

there have been too many moments

of just killing time

it’s not like it is anything amazing

a different kind of uncertain

feeling a bit nervous

wondering what was I saying

and was it ever anything I was actually doing.

It is all familiar

all of life’s moments

how they hang around

until you just fill them

up

with the pieces of time that you are forgetting

the existence we are creating

I know myself so well

it’s like I am making it hard

for me to get to know myself better.

And where will I go

when I have learned this

it enough

over and over

the walls are concrete

but they are not solid

the wreckage

and the renovation

starts with just a feeling that I felt before

and again I am feeling parts of it

there never is a beginning.

just rediscovered fragments.