I am on an exploration to get back the life I feel was robbed from me. I’ve pinned it to the wall and now the work begins to bust that myth open to see what is inside.
I’ve taken a sneak peek and the first thing I saw was the question “what does that mean exactly?”. I have no idea what life I might have had if things had gone differently. It went the way it went.
I took another glimpse and I saw fear. As I figure out what it is I want or what I feel I should do, I hear the conductor of the brain bus shout out “next stop: what if I fail?”.
I’ve taken some time to contemplate that. How can I fail when there is no actual goal other than to be present with myself and live and love the life I am living now?
This process has stirred up difficult memories from the past. Difficult memories are the price I paid for living and that fear, yes that fear again. This time I am cautious of the phoenix that needs to rebuild from the ashes, when the thing is, it never actually burned down to the ground.
There is no “what should I be doing?” or “things I am missing out on”.
I’ve spent enough time looking back and looking inside and it’s time to split this thing wide open.
I was robbed of nothing.
I am living the life I am given. I am living the life that I am living.
And all I see is me, in this moment, shining in the light.